Vajra Romance

“To fall in love is to taste the energy of existence and non-existence. To fall in love is to go beyond the boundaries that we set up for ourselves. To experience the real meaning of a loving relationship, is to live with impeccable verve in the sheer vividness of each moment.”
Ngak’chang Rinpoche


Ngak'chang Rinpoche and Khandro Déchen will present teachings on how to approach romantic relationship as a practice of mutual reflection from the perspective of Vajrayana Buddhism.
These teachings demonstrate that every aspect of ordinary human life, including passion, intimacy, and falling in love, can be integrated into the life of a spiritual practitioner. Ngak’chang Rinpoche and Khandro Déchen will discuss Vajra Romance as a profound path of living the view, arising from appreciating the vivacity of sense perceptions - which gives rise both to sexuality and to the creative arts.


These teachings on the intrinsically enlightened nature of romance, concern the subtle interpersonal dynamics which are the innate glory of our being as women and men. These teachings are from the ‘Nyida Mélong Gyud’ which means ‘the tantra of the mutual reflection of Sun and Moon’ – these being symbols of the genders. In relationship, we reflect each other’s innermost nature. We see each other and are seen by each other as no one else can. These reflections may be distorted and horrifying, or clear and invigorating, according to the nature of how we perceive.
The paradox and passion of romantic love provide unmatched opportunities for both neurotic misery and ecstatic enlightenment. The Nyida Mélong illuminates: the problems we often encounter within relationships; the reasons we may lack fulfilment, while also failing to meet our partner’s emotional needs; and the ways romance may degenerate into clinging, cruelty, and indifference. The Nyida Mélong also reveals: romantic love as the nearest analogy for enlightenment we can find in everyday life; emptiness and enjoyment as bases for romantic relationship; the practice of taking one’s lover as a divine teacher; and the practical possibility of continuing the delicious initial rush of falling in love, in perpetuity.

Ngak’chang Rinpoche and Khandro Déchen are a married couple. Together they are the Lineage Holders of the Aro gTér, a non-monastic tradition of yogis and yoginis, which is a part of the Nyingma school of Himalayan Buddhism.

Teaching in English.